Tuesday, December 18, 2012

For Sandy Hook

I have been silent the past few days and have yet to touch upon what happened last Friday. 

I have been trying to take it all in and process it, yet my brain can not. How can any of us ever process what happened? I thought that maybe I wouldn't write at all because, after all, what can I say that hasn't already been said?

Here is what I can say.

I grieve for those families and those babies that left this Earth far too soon.
After becoming a mom I have spent every day of my life worried about my children and I can not even begin to understand this senseless tragedy.

I  kept thinking that I wish there was something that I could do to directly impact these families and show them that I am thinking of them. I realize, now though, that I can try to live my life to it's fullest and not take another second with my children for granted.

I can honor these children and adults by living my life. I can stop thinking in terms of tomorrow and think in terms of today.

What if tomorrow never comes? It is a sad thought to even think, but our time here is limited and I want to choose joy and happiness in my life.
I want to surround myself with loved ones and spend my time doing the things I love to do.
I want to protect and nurture my children and my first instinct is of course shelter them from this cruel world.

In fact, Sunday afternoon as I was watching the news a story came on about my town. My tiny little town. A man had been taken into custody because he had made threats against the schools and all the children inside!! He said some terrible things I don't even want to repeat and posted them on Facebook. Countless people turned him in and he was arrested. He is being held in jail on a quarter of a million dollars bail. This boy, I should say, went to school with my brother and lives not far from my house. I would like to think that I am immune to these evils of the world but it can be anywhere and live within anyone. I still can't even let my mind go there. Had he not posted this (for attention, I believe) would he have followed through? 

I am having a hard time and don't even know what to think. I am scared for my children more and more everyday because of the world we live in.


  1. I am scared too. I am so scared. It helps to pray, but I am still so scared.

  2. it really is just so so sad and devestating. i can't begin to imagine what the parents of those children are going through...how the children who witnessed it are not scared and traumatized. it really shakes you up.
    big big hugs, ashley! <3

  3. It's really unfathomable. I just can't even process what I'm still seeing on the news in Newtown. It can not possibly be real.

    The other shooting at the mall in Oregon is a mall that I go to with Avery all the time. In fact we were there just a few weeks ago. Just absolutely terrifying to think about.