For Sandy Hook

I have been silent the past few days and have yet to touch upon what happened last Friday. 

I have been trying to take it all in and process it, yet my brain can not. How can any of us ever process what happened? I thought that maybe I wouldn't write at all because, after all, what can I say that hasn't already been said?

Here is what I can say.

I grieve for those families and those babies that left this Earth far too soon.
After becoming a mom I have spent every day of my life worried about my children and I can not even begin to understand this senseless tragedy.

I  kept thinking that I wish there was something that I could do to directly impact these families and show them that I am thinking of them. I realize, now though, that I can try to live my life to it's fullest and not take another second with my children for granted.

I can honor these children and adults by living my life. I can stop thinking in terms of tomorrow and think in terms of today.

What if tomorrow never comes? It is a sad thought to even think, but our time here is limited and I want to choose joy and happiness in my life.
I want to surround myself with loved ones and spend my time doing the things I love to do.
I want to protect and nurture my children and my first instinct is of course shelter them from this cruel world.

In fact, Sunday afternoon as I was watching the news a story came on about my town. My tiny little town. A man had been taken into custody because he had made threats against the schools and all the children inside!! He said some terrible things I don't even want to repeat and posted them on Facebook. Countless people turned him in and he was arrested. He is being held in jail on a quarter of a million dollars bail. This boy, I should say, went to school with my brother and lives not far from my house. I would like to think that I am immune to these evils of the world but it can be anywhere and live within anyone. I still can't even let my mind go there. Had he not posted this (for attention, I believe) would he have followed through? 

I am having a hard time and don't even know what to think. I am scared for my children more and more everyday because of the world we live in.