Friday, October 19, 2012

Thoughts on Perfection

Perfection. This is by no means a new subject to touch upon when it pertains to motherhood. In fact, I have talked about it a bit before on here.

I overheard a conversation the other day about how people didn't like to read blogs because it gave them an unrealistic expectation on what motherhood is or should be. It made them feel bad about themselves.

When I first started blogging there were definitely a few blogs that I stumbled upon that made everything look so easy. They seemed to have it all. Perfect house, perfect kids, they could whip up a gourmet meal on the spot and were always coming up with neat crafts to do. I am not going to lie and say that it didn't make me feel inadequate or self conscious. It did. Sometimes I still do.

I hope, though, that I am not perceived as a blogger who is looking to "appear" perfect. Because, lets face it, perfection isn't real and ones' idea of perfect can be very far from my version of perfect.

I am not life is not perfect. I stumble and I fall a lot. I feel like half the time I do not know what I am doing.

You see snippets of my life here on the blog, not the whole picture. I don't like to dwell on the negative  so I highlight the positive, most of the time. This blog is touchstone for me and a way to keep track of my families' life and milestones. It is also a place to sometimes vent my hardships and a place to look for support. I want to focus on the positive events and record those, because, honestly, those are what I want to come back and read one day, years from now. I don't need to post about how much my husband and I bicker, how finances are tight on one income, how I seem to struggle with anxiety and self esteem issues and how I have had a hard time losing my own identity in this whole mothering process.  I don't want to remember the days where I am still in pjs at 6:00 pm and have had no shower with toys strewn all over the floor and frozen pizza for dinner, again. Sure, that is part of my life, a big part, if I am being honest. Highlighting mostly the positive things in my life isn't a way to create the illusion of perfection but more of a way for me to really remember and be grateful for all the good that I do have in my life. :)


  1. I love documenting the good, the bad, and the funny. It reminds me to be thankful, to realize I don't have it the worst in the world (not EVEN close!). And to laugh. I wouldn't be able to do my life if I couldn't find things to laugh about.

  2. one of my favorite posts of yours, ashley! the other week my friend and i were talking about blogging...the different kinds of blogs out there and the ones that we love to read the most. i brought up your instantly - you are REAL, true to yourself and 100% honest...i really admire that. i think that there are a lot of "fluff" blogs out there and where i think they are fun...i love reading someone's perspective on daily life and struggles and real life happiness. you have always displayed that. you have a beautiful life and family, and with your hardships comes growth and learning and it's more than evident that you are one smart cookie, one awesome mama and wife and one amazing woman. thanks for being real always. <3

  3. I totally agree about feeling grateful. I could easily go onto my blog and document every fight my kids have, every time my 5 year old talks back, or when the 2 year old is so sassy it makes me scream, but when I go back and look at this in 5, 10, 20 years, I want to see the positive and remember the fun. It's just important to keep in mind that that's what most people do, blog the good and not as much the bad, and keep that in mind. NOBODY is perfect, and NOBODY has perfect kids, or is a perfect mother.

    Love this post friend! :)

  4. I love to read your blog because you talk about it all, the good and the bad. Which is real. Those mom's that blog and make it seem all perfect just have to be faking it some of the time.

  5. This is exactly why I love you and your blog Ashley!! Always sincere and from the heart!

    Kristine from The Foley Fam {unedited} Blog

  6. So true, so true! I do the same thing...b/c who wants to focus on the negative?

  7. Wow this was such an awesome post Ashley!! I loved it and I relate so much and absolutely agree with you on this topic. You described my life some days, thank you for being so real and honest. I knew that about you anyway that is why I keep coming back...xoxo