Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Where have I been?

The days (and weeks) seem to just be flying by around here. Minutes turn to hours and those hours tick by and turn to days, and I fall more and more behind on all that I had hoped to accomplish.

I feel as though I have so much to say and not enough time to say it. So, let's just catch up, shall we?

One of my favorite things to do with my girlfriends is to catch up over coffee and treats or wine and dinner without the kiddos....that way we can really have some uninterrupted time. I love playdates, don't get me wrong, but you don't really get a chance to "talk", ya know?

So, let's pretend for a moment that we are sharing a bottle of wine....how about 14 Hands Hot to Trot Merlot?

I would probably ask how your Thanksgiving was and how you spent it? We spent ours at my mom's in the morning with all the siblings for a breakfast of roll-ups (Swedish pancakes; crepes).

Jaxson ate three roll ups complete with strawberries, powdered sugar and syrup! Kendra ate one and three sausage patties!

After that we headed an hour south to celebrate with my dad's side of the family. My dad doesn't live locally and we don't get together near enough so it is nice to have the day with him. :)

I was too busy eating way too much of all of the good food that I took no pictures! Blogger fail!

I did snap one of this cutie real quick!

Because it was dark when we headed home (but still early) Jaxson slept for an hour, which meant that Thanksgiving evening was terrible! Not gonna lie probably one of, if not the hardest nights of parenthood so far. His schedule was so thrown off and there was no getting him to sleep. I was so exhausted, out of patience and beyond frustrated. Not to mention a little sad hubby was leaving late that night to go out of town, so he was catching some sleep. Long story short and sparing all the details; I lost it! I yelled, screamed and threw an adult version of a tantrum. Not proud of it, but I will own it.

I would be telling you at this point, while holding back tears, that I cried myself to sleep that night because Jaxson told me he hated me and didn't want me near him. :( Yeah.... that really happened and it broke my heart. It still does. Mothering is not for the faint of heart. I am not proud of my actions and I tried not to yell, but I had hit my breaking point. Thankfully the next day we had a fresh start and with some grace we made it through. It's been tough, though. Jaxson has become more defiant and his threes are definitely worse than his terrible twos.

I consider myself a good mom, but I am most definitely human, flaws and all. What I think this reminded me of was to just take time for me and walk away. It's okay to cry and get mad. We have needs and feelings too that too often get pushed aside and put on the backburner. My kids are my top priority, but if I don't make myself a priority I am not being a good example and I am certainly not as good of a momma to them. Phew....that was long winded. Still with me? :)

The last few days I have been trying to catch up on all of the housework that has gotten neglected. That is okay by me because we have spent it doing other fun things!

If you hadn't zoned out listening to me drone on and on about myself then I would nicely ask you for your prayers and/or kind thoughts regarding my grandmother. She fell for the second time a few weeks ago and broke her ankle in two spots. She had undergone surgery and now has to start the rehabilitation and physical therapy to hopefully get her strength back. It's going to be a long road and she is in a care facility and sad to not be at home. :(


  1. Hey Ashley! Sorry to hear about your Grandmother, I hope she has a speedy recovery...poor thing!
    You said it perfectly when you said that you are human with feelings and emotions, and you know, we all do what you did! I think it is so refreshing that you have admitted to it because as mothers, we all need to stand side by side. It's a tough gig, and we don't always do it right but we try our best. The thing is, kids are so forgiving, and despite Jaxson's words (he's 3) he loves you more than anything. That is just him being angry in return. Don't worry, there will be many more nights where you cry yourself to sleep. The beauty of life is, we can acknowledge our wrong-doings and have a fresh start in the morning :)
    Chin up! xoxox

  2. Your grandmother will be in my prayers as will you!! Big hugs! I'm glad you had a nice Thanksgiving at your mom's and with your dad at night!! Kendra's dress is so stinkin' CUTE!! If I could, I would send over a bottle of that wine to your doorstep...sorry that you had a really rough night with Jaxson. He loves you to pieces and I'm sure it stung to hear those words. So glad you started fresh the next day.
    I hope you have a great week (and a glass or two of wine tonight)! Lots of love xoxox

  3. Girl we all have parenting days like that. Glad you got off on a fresh foot the next day. Sounds like it was a fun morning and good times with family. When my kids are thrown off of their schedule all heck breaks loose so I totally understand! :)

    Praying for your grandma!!

  4. Don't be too hard on yourself Momma. We all have outbursts from time to time! You are a wonderful momma and Jaxson loves and needs you. Your grandma is in our thoughts!

  5. We all have our breaking points...and it's so honest and brave of you to share so that the rest of us don't think we are crazy. Praying for your grandma!

  6. I totally get you! Being a mom is the HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD! It is difficult because our kids are our greatest trial yet they are our greatest joy. Don't get down on yourself though!! Nobody is perfect and all of us go through similar situations! Anyways new reader over here!