Monday, April 15, 2013

An apology of sorts

I want to apologize to you, my readers for my lack of posting, lately. I have been feeling so much lately and have so much I want and need to say and don't even know where to begin. Things are good, just a little heavy, if that even makes any sense.

I seemed to have taken an unplanned break from blogging and it has been just what I have needed. There are "things" I need to say and I will say, but do you ever get that feeling of being so overwhelmed with things that instead you just do not do anything at all? Guilty as charged right here. Sometimes I have zero motivation and instead of doing a little at a time, I just do nothing.

I guess that is kind of  how it has been with my blog lately. I have soo many words that instead of writing them all down.... I keep them all inside. But, something has been stirring within me lately and it has been telling me that it is okay to share some more of myself on this space. Deeper things and the not so pretty things that we all go through but choose to skim over at times.

I don't want to always (emphasis on the always) skim over these things. Sometimes it is okay to let people know that I feel defeated at the end of a day or that sometimes before the day has hardly begun that I am ready for it to be over already. It is okay to say that my husband and I have been fighting a lot....that marriage counseling may be on the horizon.  It is okay that somedays I feel like a complete and utter failure at being a mom. It is okay to let my guard down and let people in. I am by no means perfect and I do not pretend to be. I am a mess in some areas of my life and I will be the first to admit that. But, I fight like heck to get close to that perfection and there is no shame in that.

I guess what I am saying is that in order for you all to understand where I am coming from, I need to let you in a little bit more.


  1. It is more than okay to admit lovely Trust me we are all going through so many of the same things, I always think it is by far better to be honest and put it out there rather than try and keep up some kind of false facade. Hugs to you, I hope things with the hubs get better and that the counselling helps. So proud of you for being brave enough to admit its tough xo

  2. oh ashley, i've been thinking about you - no need to apologize at all. you have every right to take time away and give time to yourself to figure it all out. we all have our struggles and i've always admired that you put yourself out there and are honest and real. i will be praying for you and hoping that things get brighter. i'm here for you! <3<3<3

  3. Ashley, I admire your honesty and thank you for letting us into your life a little more. If your blog is not a place to vent, confess or discuss topics which are close to your heart, then where is? Does that make sense? I hope so...
    We all have days and weeks like this, you and I have talked privately about things before so always remember I am here for you :)
    I wish for brighter days ahead for you, I know they are there, you will see. Life is a journey of constant growing, healing, changing, learning and acceptance. I love you my friend xoxo