Wednesday, August 29, 2012
A Big Adjustment
I know I should be posting all my fun pics from my vacation, the wedding and miss Kendra's party but I don't have the energy right now. Quite honestly, I just want to let some of my feelings out right now...... I want just a few minutes and paragraphs to wallow in my self pity. ;)
Okay, I want to keep it real on here. If you knew me in "real life" than you would know that going back to work, even just part time, has been a much bigger adjustment for me than I had anticipated and for very different reasons than I expected.
Working with large groups of people brings all kinds of personalities into the mix. I know myself and that I have issues with self confidence. I just want to do a good job and come home to my family. All sorts of new feelings of inadequacy have resurfaced going back to work and it is hard to keep these feelings at bay. No one has made me feel this way, persay, but it can be hard not too.
I am also working a lot more hours than I originally intended to and I am hoping to get this cleared up soon. Between Brandon's and I's schedule we only seem to just cross paths. :( I know it is only temporary and that there are a lot of people out of work. I am grateful but just trying to be real. It has been a lot harder than I anticipated. It has made me realize that I did, in fact, take for granted all the time I had with my babies. I know they miss me and are having a hard time understanding and that is what makes this the most difficult. Excuse me for being such a downer. :(
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Awww I am keeping you in my thoughts...hope things get easier!
ReplyDeleteAshley, I have been thinking about you and hoping things have been well.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that it has been tougher than you expected! As always, your honesty and way you keep it real is so refreshing.
I imagine it is such a crazy adjustment and I hope that you can get your schedule to where you wanted it to be in the first place.
I don't think you ever took time with your babes for granted. You definitely embrace motherhood and all your blessings.
Big hugs!
Will be keeping you in my prayers!
Xoxox
Maria
You have every right to be open and honest and a downer, as you say, on your own blog! We totally understand the feelings you must be having. Although I have not experienced leaving my kids to go to work, I can imagine what you are going through. It would be so hard mixing with so many new people again and feeling inadequate. But you are not at all inadequate Ashley, you are a beautiful person inside and out, an amazing and loving mother and someone who is just trying to do the best by her family. Hang in there xoxo
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