What the (almost) apocolypse taught me....

We all heard the stories and saw the headlines.....the world was set to be ending on December 21, 2012. Well, it didn't (right now you are thinking, duh!).

Rewind five years or so ago when we were in Cancun at the Mayan ruins. There was some talk about it during our tour and it stuck out to me. Yes, me who can be a bit of a hypochondriac at times and add in my anxious state. So, it was always in the back of my mind.

As the date grew closer so did my fear. Now, let me clarify by saying that I really didn't think the world was coming to an end (honest) but it freaked me out. It got me thinking about ALL sorts of things. Like, if and when something did happen. It made me realize how unprepared I am to cope if ANY sort of natural disaster struck. I had no emergency kit  in my car or even a will made up yet.

These aren't topics I generally like to think about, because, honestly who does?

I am not saying I went all Doomsday Preppers on you, but I thought that it would be smart to make myself more prepared. I did some research and put together an emergency kit. What better time than when we are headed up into the mountains. Just in case. I feel better knowing it is there.

More importantly though, the thought that life could be ending any second, really really made me reevaluate some things. I realized so many things I had been focusing on just didn't matter. If the world had ended, how would I have wanted to spend my last days? Certainly not nagging my kids for the millionth time about cleaning up.

It got me thinking that, despite the obvious fact that I love my kids more than anything, I hadn't been spending enough QUALITY time with ALL of my loved ones. I hadn't been doing things daily to fill my cup and theirs. This shook me a little bit. Why did I need a faux apocalypse to remind me of this?I don't know why, but shame on me. Those few weeks before the 21st I put my heart and soul into spending as much time as I could doing fun things with my kids and being more intentional. You know what, it was the best two weeks! This should show me that when I make even the smallest of efforts that I feel so much better at the end of the day.

There has been a lot of loss in lives around us (I know I have said this before) and it has just been another glaring reminder that no day is guaranteed and that I really really need to stop focusing in on the smallest details and start looking at the bigger picture more. I am so guilty of this. If I stop and let loose and let things go I really can relax. I feel a different side of me emerging.

 I have since found it easier to say no to things, to say yes to  staying home more, saying yes to cereal (and fruit) for lunch, having more picnics inside and for learning to let things go.

I vowed to start fresh this year and try to let go of past hurts and disappointments and I feel as though I am on the right path.

I want to start living my life more as if it were the last day to live.