To Jaxson

Dear Jaxson,

My hope is that one day you can look back at this blog and see how we spent our days together. I hope you can share in the joy with me of all the times that are now becoming memories. It feels like in the blink of an eye you have turned into a little man and I can not believe that you will be three next month.You like to tell people that you are 7 or sometimes even 26! Don't go aging yourself that quickly. It is hard to believe that you will be starting preschool soon and I won't have you to myself all day, everyday.

You amaze me everyday with the sweet little things that you do. You are so much like me that at times it almost takes my breath away. You are extremely sensitive and so passionate about things. Right now your favorite movie (which means I have to watch it over and over again) is Monsters Inc. At the end of the movie when the little girl goes home she has to say goodbye to the monsters. You cry every time...... you sense and see her sadness and that makes you sad too. I can not believe how perceptive and aware of other people's feelings that are around you. I had always hoped to pass along a sense of empathy and compassion for other people. 

Going along with that sensitivity is your passion for things. You can be a little hot headed and easy to anger.... like any almost three year old. Unfortunately for you, I think you get your need to be always right and your competitive nature from me. Sorry! But with that passion comes excitement. When you are excited about things it practically radiates from every cell of your body. You never fail to say, "mommy, I am so excited right now!" 

You are learning so much right now and I love to hear you say your ABC's over and over again. You have a love for music and can memorize songs rather quickly. Right now you think that only boys can sing songs that are sung by men and girls must sing songs sang by women. So, you tell me to stop singing quite a bit so you can sing to me instead.

Sometimes I like to watch you when you aren't paying attention just to observe the things you do so I can soak it all in and imprint into my memory. I know that these days are just going by so fast and I want to hold on as tight as I can.

While we have our moments, days and even weeks of tough times and tantrum throwings.....we always get by. Your little sister looks up to and adores you so much. When I see the bond growing between you nothing makes me more proud. When you think no one is looking you are so incredibly sweet to her. I see you "read" her stories, bring her blankie when she is sad, share your snack with her and give her boosts on the couch. Granted, it is not always like this and I know it won't last forever but my heart swells with happiness seeing these little acts of kindness.

I have so many hopes and dreams for you but we will leave that for another day. Right now I just want you to know that you fill me with so much joy and give my life purpose and there could never be a greater blessing than to be your mother.