A few days ago I did a post about the birth of my son. I talked more about what happened but not about how I was feeling. You can read about it here
I was on bed rest for five weeks in the hospital. For some people, five weeks is not very long. Some women had been there for five months! I can not even begin to imagine what that would have felt like. I just thank God that I was only there for five weeks.
I went through so many emotions while I was there. First it was shock, then denial, then fear and then a feeling of constant worrying. After that wore off a bit, I came to accept it. The hospital became my home away from home. The only problem is is that I was over an hour away from home. I missed my family, my dog, my bed and all my personal surroundings. I never made it to my baby shower or my maternity photo shoot. I guess I felt a bit sorry for myself and then I felt guilty for feeling sorry for myself because there were so many women there who were in much worse shape than I was.
But one emotion that I never felt was lonely, because through it all Brandon was by my side, without complaining once.
Let me back up just a bit. Before all my complications arose, pregnancy and I did not agree. My hormones were all over the place and my OCD skyrocketed to a whole new level. Not gonna lie, it was a rough time for both Brandon and I. We fought ALOT. Of course, all trivial things and looking back now I realize it was all ridiculous.
Being in the hospital, though, gave us a lot of time to just BE together; to talk, and to rediscover certain things about each other. We realized we had let our relationship slide a little bit, but the fear of something happening gave us gave us a little wake up call. Now, I would never wish for being in that situation but I am glad we made the best out of it and that it gave us some clarity.
During this time, Brandon was with me every day that he didn't have to be at work. He works a combination of 12 hour and 24 hour shifts with his working starting at 6 am. So, after working 12 hours he would then drive through rush hour traffic for another two, just to be by my side and have a late dinner with me. Nurses had set him up with a cot and he slept beside me almost every night. He would then have to wake up around 3:45 so he could make it to work on time. I know he was so tired and wanted to sleep in his bed as much I did. I encouraged him to go home and take some time for himself but he never did. . It meant so much to me to have him by my side. We got through it together and came out the other side much stronger and ready to conquer the world of first time parents!
|So thankful for this guy!|